Last May, Larry King delivered a speech at Seoul Digital Forum 2011 in Grande Walkerhill on the theme ‘The Connectors.’ In his speech, Larry King, a former CNN anchor in Larry King Live, emphasized the HUMAN TOUCH? that is, the importance of having direct, person-to-person relationships. He said, “I can give this speech using a satellite, but I chose to come to South Korea for fellowship purposes, or to have person-to-person encounters.” He added, “Nothing’s more important than the connections between people. These connections will never disappear,
no matter what technological advances we may achieve.”
Thus, whatever your profession or field of work is, the first thing that you will need to learn is to find a way to manage your human relations. If you want to be happy and successful, you must first develop and have successful human relations.
Various Relationships
We humans are animals living in a society. We have come up with various forms of continuing relationships, regardless of whether we recognize these or don’t, or whether we want these or don’t. That is, we humans can’t live alone, so we get into relationships to fill in our needs and those of others. The relationships formed in the current society, however, are both easy and difficult. Why is that? Carrying out a relationship with another person is very complicated. Relationships are formed since birth, with the members of one’s family, since one’s entry into school until one’s graduation from it, and at every stage in one’s life. Different kinds of relationships are also formed: ‘senior-junior relationships’ such as those between a teacher and his/her pupil and between a
military-school predecessor and the successor, and that between lovers. Relations formed through social activities or get-togethers are intricate and diverse as they are virtually countless.
Global Era: Further Broadened Human Relations
The 21st century is presented as a smart age. Around the world, men make friends and communicate freely with others with the use of social networking services (SNSs) like Twitter and Facebook, and fax or e-mail business proposals or contracts to foreign companies. Thus, we can freely talk and share information with many people in various parts of the world owing to the digital advances and the emergence of social media. The people living in the 21st century have more opportunities to communicate and build relationships with people from other countries than the people in the past.
Also, these days, undergraduates experience the world early and expand their learning horizons through their admission as exchange students in foreign universities or by being admitted into foreign universities for internship, language study abroad, or overseas volunteer programs. SSU has ties with more than 100 foreign universities.
In particular, SSU’s overseas volunteer program has merit in that apart from being rewarding, it gives one valuable opportunities to form strong relationships with many foreign volunteers as early as in the preparation process. Moreover, the volunteers will have the opportunity to engage not only in physical communication but also in sentimental communication, by establishing immediate contact with the other volunteers.
ST interviewed Park Soo-rin (Business Administration, 10), who rendered summer foreign community service through SSU’s program in Cambodia.
ST: Why did you participate in SSU’s overseas volunteer program?
Park: I’ve always wanted to do volunteer work as I have a strong desire to help others or to make others feel important or needed, so I decided to participate in the program.
ST: What did you do in Cambodia?
Park: I visited a Cambodian school ? Hosanna Center ? and did some volunteer work, such as teaching students and
holding special performances.
ST: What did you do to become close to the Cambodian students? What is your best memory of being with them?
Park: I think communication played an important role in our relationship. I learned the Cambodian language and talked with the Cambodian students about many things, using their language. We talked, laughed, played, and sang
songs together. Those are my happiest memories of being with them.
ST: What did you learn from the volunteer work that you did?
Park: I learned a lot through my participation in the volunteer program. It enabled me to become a good neighbor, friend, assistant, and guide to the people of Cambodia. I now realize the true meaning of volunteerism.
The 21st century offers ample chances to establish contact with the world in many ways. This phenomenon offers opportunities to mature and become more human by communicating with diverse people, but at the same time, it gives rise to many worries and concerns about relationships. Different nationalities have various cultures and ways of thinking, which can serve as barriers to effective communication with foreigners. This being so, the more you relate with others, the greater your chances of broadening your relationships in the global 21st-century era, a time when you must understand individual values and ways of thinking and most need to develop a caring attitude towards others.
Difficulties in Modern-day Relationships
People generally feel happy in relationships, but many people also have unpleasant experiences therein. In the modern society, especially, more and more people have difficulty forming successful relationships.
In the traditional society, people lived with endless communication among themselves, as a community or village. Nowadays, however, people pursue wellness in everyday life without their neighbors’ help, and rely only on the Internet. The digital culture, which enables us to do anything without having to go out of our houses, makes us lose interest in forming relationships, and reduces the time that we spend with other people. Therefore, more and more people don’t want to get entangled in community interests, and we hardly know the people who are living in the same part of the town where we are residing, in the same building, and even on the same floor. As we have accustomed ourselves to fragmentary and episodic meetings such as Internet chatting, having to face and communicate with other people can be seen by us in a negative light. ST asked SSU student Jeong Chan-wook (Japanese Studies and Linguistics, 11) about this matter.
ST: What do you think is the impact of the digital culture on human relationships?
Jeong: I think that the digital culture made many kinds of social networking possible and allows us to easily form indirect relationships that we could not form before the emergence of the digital culture.
ST: If so, do you encounter difficulties in your relationships with other people?
Jeong: The social networking system lowers people’s intimacy level and makes it difficult for us to form real-life relationships by allowing us to show only what we want to show to others.
ST: How are you trying to overcome these difficulties?
Jeong: I try to keep in mind that while it is easy to form relationships through the Internet because one can communicate with others very conveniently that way, I should not use it as a means of forming episodic and fragmentary relationships.
Importance of Relationships
As we humans are very social creatures, we can’t live alone and need to interact with other people. We humans grow up, mature, and form a self-identity in our community life, as we create harmonious relationships with other people. Therefore, forming good relationships is essential.
The more important a person’s physical presence becomes in today’s egocentric society, the more essential one’s ability to relate with others becomes, because we humans can’t satisfy our hunger for approval or acceptance if no one acknowledges us. As such, as we become very selfcentered, paradoxically, we will need a person who will sympathize with us, who recognizes our individuality, and who considers our feelings. Aren’t you curious, then, if there are any special skills that can enable one to form good relationships?
Key Skills for Forming Good Relationships
The most important element of good relationships is a give-and-take attitude. Relationships are about giving and taking. When a person opens his or her heart to you, you have to reciprocate the act as best as you can, and when you want to unlock a person’s stubborn heart, you first have to welcome the person with open arms. Therefore, relationships that flow in one direction will not last long.
Second, recognize others first, and take notice of them. A person’s greatest basic need is to feel appreciated and recognized. People are usually sensitive about the image of themselves that they create in the minds of other people. As such, you must first have an interest in people and approach them with a friendly smile if you want to be recognized.
Third, the mindset that you are always right and that others are always wrong is bound to cause problems. Even though the unexpected actions of others may make your head spin, understand and accept them. This will help you become magnanimous and will widen your understanding of people.
Fourth, admit your mistakes, and accept blame for them from others. Only those who admit their own mistakes can
cope with a certain amount of criticism from other people. It is thus important for us to reflect on ourselves and to try to become better persons after admitting our mistakes and accepting blame for them. This will help us maintain good relations with people and will make our relationships last long.
Many people dream of having a life with much success and happiness, but not all people can achieve this dream. Also, there are people who look like they have gained much success but are actually not happy and fulfilled. Real success and true happiness begin with good and desirable relationships.
Humans are social animals who require close relationships with other people. People are born in and live and die with relationships. Sometimes, however, we humans are worried and feel frustrated because we fail to create desirable relationships. This situation can cause various problems for individuals and for the whole society. Thus, increasing our ability to form good relationships is even more important than pursuing wealth and fame in order to become successful.
What are your existing relationships? Having good relationships with other people will actually affect your success and happiness in life. As such, it is not too much to say that the true jewel of our life is our human relationships.
Yang Hyun-ah (ST Reporter)
sc7992@ssu.ac.kr
Jung Da-hye (ST Reporter)
82260219@ssu.ac.kr
